Thursday, September 20, 2007


Stay tuned. Things may be looking up. But I gotta keep quiet and its killin me. MBDG, I swear I will call, but I absolutely hate, despise, and otherwise loathe the phone.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Boxing Day, not the holiday

I'm sitting waiting for my japanese class to start and I made the mistake of listening to Boxing Day on the way here. All that did was remind how much this life I lead now pales in comparison and set me up for not so great a day. Peachey.


Tuesday, July 10, 2007 this thing on?

My blog that is. I just cant seem to find enough things going on recently that warrant writing about. I've been in a bit of a funk for a while and I really dont feel I need to sound like 98% of the other bloggers who seem to write only about what is wrong with them. I should be ok, but for some reason I'm not, and I can't seem to put a finger on exactly what the issues are in order to fix them. SO, I'm alive, my pumpkins are growing, and I'm gonna keep putting one foot in front of the other til I feel better.


Monday, May 21, 2007

I had a visitor today...

So I took her picture. Boo for lo-res images online.


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Within Temptation

In 2001, a good friend of mine came back from a trip to Holland proclaiming he had heard this great band I was absolutely going to love. He brought me their cd which I popped in on the way home from picking him up. Heavy guitars? Check. Melodramatic Strings/Orchestra? Check. Catchy Loops? Check. Badass chick singer? Double Check.

The band in question was Within Temptation and I have been waiting since the day I put that cd in my player to have the opportunity to see them live. Until the past few weeks they had never toured the US and I missed them by a few weeks when I went to Denmark. However, Lacuna Coil managed to get them over here, and of all the places in the SE they could play, they ended up in COLUMBIA!!!!

The show was unbelievable. I had wondered how well they would translate to small clubs after regularly playing large venues and stadiums in europe...they didnt miss anything. Hands down one of the tightest shows I have seen, but sequences tend to help that.

Afterwards, I went into fullblown dork mode and sought out the band members in order to get my 2 discs signed. They were a bit taken back since they have had no US released cd's, but gladly signed my euro release discs and spoke with myself, my 2 brothers and Jen. It was my brother Joe's second concert ever (lucky kid, I had to wait til I was 17...he gets to go at 13 since I take him) and he was blown away, particularly after getting to meet them.

Jen even mentioned we had tried to get tickets for the sold out Virginia show and the drummer took my email address so he could let us know if they had a guestlist up there. They did, he put us on it and emailed us, but the email didnt get here til 6pm day of show. No way we could make it in time, even if we had the gas money to drive to Va. and back. I was a little sad, but no regrets since I got to see and meet them 2 days prior. I find it unbelievable that he actually emailed me. This is a band that sells out 100k plus stadiums in europe.

They are releasing their new disc, The Heart of Everything, July 24th in the US. It will be the first cd of theirs released in the states and according to the band will contain some tracks from The Silent Force. Highly recommended, particularly if you like Evanescence or bands in that genre. (FYI, WT pre-dates Evanescence) Please buy it so I get to see them in the states again!

Before you point it out to me Mr. BD, yes, I am a dork. But if ever I cant be a dorky fan someone needs to shoot me.


PS - Those are some of the shots I took from the show.

Saturday, May 5, 2007


Tom Waits on Conan. Holy Fuck. Go youtoob it. Now.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Good things...

New Type O Negative album = Great stuff (if you like Type O). I guess Peters stint in jail, rehab, and the psych ward did his songwriting some good. Apparently he is also back to being a good catholic boy as well, who'da thunk it. Better than the schlock that was on the past 2 albums.

My pumpkins are in the ground! After waiting for the tiller to come back from the repair shop, I finally got my patch turned over and have 14 pumpkin hills (as long as all survive transplant). 7 orange and 7 white (got to have the perfect pumpkin to do my annual Jack with). I'm also container growing 4 Jack Be Little's. If all goes well, I may actually get to have my "Great Pumpkin" patch this year. Scary part is I dont like anything cooked with pumpkins. I'm just growing them for Jack O Lanterns.

I also got my okra started and re-arranged the rest of our stuff. Count at present is 4 okra plants, 9 tomato plants, 8 bell pepper, 8 squash, 3 cucumber, 2 rows of bush green beans, and several useless flowers lol. If all goes well I should be up to my ears in fresh veggies this summer. I've never done this before so its been a good distraction.

I figure if I blog whenever something pleases me, maybe I can come here and see that the balance isnt as negative as I percieve it to be.


Thursday, May 3, 2007

Who knows..

I may reach the end of this entry and not even submit it. Maybe I will type this and get it all out and move least I can hope for that.

So I left you guys with my first Denmark post a while ago. I'll fill in the rest of that before I launch into the clusterfuck of late.

My trip was good. Am I a world traveler who just didnt know it? Nah. Dont get me wrong, seeing my friends was great, but that was the reason I went and the reason I enjoyed the trip. Even with the neat stuff I did see and photograph, I could have gone my life without those experiences and I wouldnt be lacking anything.

I did not have any cigarettes in Denmark, and I have not had any since I have been back. I've now been smoke free since March 9th, so thats....ermmmm....almost 2 months. It seems much longer than that.

My gf also quit, however, it seems as if the cigarettes were the glue that was holding her together. Upon arriving home, a bout of fairly bad depression hit her for whatever reason, but she signed up for the prozac nation plan and all seems to be well now. I guess I am an asshole for feeling like the drugs have made my generation weak in comparison to previous ones. Maybe its just technology period causing the weakening. Who knows, shes better now, while I walk on eggshells afraid to set anything off. I should probably get with the times and join the brave new world myself.

SO, amidst not smoking and walking on eggshells, theres an ongoing shutout between myself and a certain alcoholic I am related to. Classic case of "you're wrong..." "no, you're wrong..." but its just one of those situations where I feel like I cant give in, otherwise I just continue the cycle that has existed for a very long time. But, if I break the cycle, can the relationship survive? If I continue the cycle, how long before I get emotionally abused again? At least when I did my stint as a professional drunk I was happy about it. This has gone on for the past week...did I mention the conversation that started all of this occurred on the night before my first final for this semester?

Finals have gone fairly well, one more on saturday and I'll be done. I may actually make the presidents list this semester. Yeah yeah, so I should have been doing that a long time ago. It all hinges on me making a good grade on my Jazz/Pop history final. Should be able to pull that one off.

Before this entry gets you too down, let me say 8 hours on the river with your little brother does a soul much good. It's even better when those 8 hours are interrupted by several catfish, from a 35# flathead to a couple of blues in the 10# range like it was tuesday night.

I really really wish I could make some pointless happy post or tell you about the wonderful things I am doing, but it just doesnt work that way. No matter how much I try to "change my outlook on things" or "look at the world from another perspective" the bottom line still sucks. I'm a 30 year old washed up musician who has "(gone) back to school to learn how to lie to you better" (bonus cool points for anyone who gets that reference). Even the band I am in now doesnt serve any enjoyable purpose for me most of the time - it's almost like I am doing it just because it's what I have done for so long. Please dont think this is some outcry for attention or ego building...for fucks sake alot of people in this world have it worse than me...I just need to remember that.

In the absence of hitting the lottery without even playing it, or some wonderful person handing me a million dollars so I can just say fuck it and disappear for a while, I'll do as Mr Band Director Guy mentions, and "Put on my big boy pants and deal with it."

So on that note I'm gonna go and repeat that phrase like my new mantra.


Monday, March 12, 2007

Denmark v1.0

I'm here, in one piece, (halfway to not giving away my stuff - i.e. no fiery plane crash), and have managed to get my body adjusted to avoid as much jetlag as possible.

Interestingly enough, the passport folks here didnt ask me any questions, they looked at the passport and my picture and stamped it, and there were no customs officials on the nothing to declare side. I walked out looking very confused after expecting to answer a bunch of questions about who what when where and why.

Good stuff so far:

- Beer, GOOD beer.
- Fresh bread
- Shawarma (revisited after having the dutch version - Shoarma)
- Cheese...lots and lots of Gouda
- Leverpostej (Liver Pate' thats kinda like a Pate/LiverMush hybrid)
- Danish lunch (lots of open faced sandwiches and tons of stuff to put on them - see fresh bread)
- Fresh Pastries unlike anything I have seen previously

Not so great stuff:

- Nothing, it's all been overshadowed by good stuff
- Ok, so I havent had a cigarette in 3 days. I'm trying to quit and I could eat one. It will be good for me to quit though, I just...I like smoking. Period. I'm only quitting for the health reasons.

Having fun, not too much grumpiness (although it hasnt been grump-free on anybody's part), and trying to figure out how to get a bunch of stuff back into the US to munch on for few weeks.

Cool Stuff I have seen:

- Little Mermaid Statue
- Tons of cool statues on the water front, including an Angel that will make its way into my good photography stuff.
- Queens Castle
- AWESOME old churches and crypts of the kings and queens of Denmark in the original capitol Roskilde
- Way too much water I wont get to fish

Disjointed blog post, sorry. Maybe things will get more coherent in the next post.


Friday, March 9, 2007

Takeoffs and landings...

In a little less than 8 hours I will be boarding a plane headed to Denmark. I don't like flying, at all, but I am excited nonetheless. If I die in a fiery plane crash, the folks get my stuff lol. Patrick gets the silver sparkly G&L ASAT. All jokes about me meeting my maker as a result of the unnatural event of humans flying aside, cross yer fingers I have a good trip. After the news I received today, as well as it's delivery method, I deserve it.

Apparently, Monday of this week, my grandmother Rodgers made a takeoff and landing of her own, and departed this mortal coil. I vastly prefer that phrase to any of the other "nice" ways of saying someone died...niceties tend to annoy me anyway. I was given this news today at about 12:30 pm by my girlfriend who had left work to come find me. She was contacted by my mother who had received an EMAIL from my father telling her, myself, and the rest of his children this news, ONE DAY AFTER THE FUNERAL. Phones of my friends were ringing off the hook because my mother had the good sense to realize this was not news I needed to read in an email, but news that should be delivered by a real person.

Her death was not a tragic accident or unexpected - she had been in ill health for years, although she maintained her sharp mind and wit, even 5 months ago on my last visit down to Florida. I'm not terribly upset at *my* loss for her dying, I am honestly happy that she doesn't have to fight to breath anymore.

I am however, incredibly angry at my father. This was the final nail in the coffin of me changing my name. I will continue to carry Noel, as my grandmothers name was Noelita, in order to honor her memory. I will not, on the other hand, continue to carry my fathers surname, and will be changing it to Krish as soon as possible.

Jen and I had both made certain to set aside enough time to go to Florida for a funeral, even with the Denmark trip, because we knew she wouldn't last long. I wanted the opportunity to pay my respects at her funeral and send off one of the strongest women I have ever known. That opportunity was taken from me.

They didn't even mention the grandchildren in her obituary, and she lived for her grand kids. With this in mind, I am writing my own obituary, in this little corner of the Internet, in hopes she reads it and smiles or gets a good laugh.

Noelita H. Rodgers (more commonly known as Mom, Grandma, or Tadpole), 74 years old and of Trenton Florida, died March 5, 2007.

She lived a long life, touched many lives, and left a legacy of memories behind her. Her life was not easy, and she worked hard for everything she had. Her home was a testament to her devotion to family, with pictures all over the place, names and places written into the still wet concrete of her favorite gazebo and stepping stones in her garden, filled photo albums and still more photos in piles next to her favorite chair.

Her chair was the center of her universe. Within easy reach were books, (especially a well worn copy of the Bible), photographs, notepads chock full of family history or thoughts or pondering, a telephone used to dispense advice (needed or not) to those who called her, tissues, a plethora of bird identification books, a notebook dedicated to the birds she watched, and one window to her left with several bird feeders in easy view.

Her window looked out upon the birdfeeders, her garden, and her gazebo; pleasures she was removed from for the last years of her life, but that no matter what she still enjoyed watching, even if she could only look without actually feeling a summer storm building in the humid Florida air or hearing the hummingbirds wings beating on their way to the feeder.

She worked many hard jobs; from field worker in her youth to convenience store management before retirement, all in order to provide a better life for her children and grandchildren. Even after retirement and into her 60's, she volunteered to help take care of the elderly as they prepared for their own landings outside of this world we know.

She is survived by her husband Eugene, and 3 sons, Joel, Randall, and Michael. She is primarily survived by 2 grandchildren, Brandy Elizabeth and Noel Charles (who were only ever called by both names when they were in trouble or when they made her laugh) who knew her to be a wise woman in all aspects of life and one of the most phenomenal human beings they had ever known.

Funeral services will be held tonight as I lay down to sleep and say a few prayers in her memory.


Wednesday, February 28, 2007

How many gov't employees does it take...

"Mr. Rodgers, we realize you were told that your passport would be delivered before you are supposed to leave the country on 3/9, however, due to the passport change and the fact that we remain understaffed, you will need to pay 75.00 to guarantee your passport is there before your scheduled leave date."


Thursday, February 22, 2007

So my lease on non-melancholy blogging has expired.

I've gotta get some of this out.

I decided this evening to clear off some HD space and move a bunch of stuff to my external. Lo and behold, I stumbled across a bunch of old Boxing Day demo's. Not the stuff you've heard a million times from Above It All, but the stuff we were working on for the follow-up prior to hitting critical mass and imploding.

Two of the tracks were the best that ever came out of us. They would beat out some of the Universal tracks - even in their un-produced, un-filtered, demo quality sound glory.

They reside on a few hard drives...3 or 4 to be exact...and will probably never be heard outside of a few people.

Those few words..."never be heard"...make me angry. But I think they make me more sad than anything. Sad that that time of my life is over - that the greatest band no one ever heard of will remain unheard for the most part - that my dream hit the wall and shattered, And I couldn't stop it. All I could do was scrape up what I had left and move school, to growing up, to trying to figure out where I want to end up. To settling for second best, at least for the time being.

I dont know, I even feel like a sap writing this. I probably should have just had a few drinks and stayed away from the keyboard. Theres alot worse things that can happen. I still have my family. I still have Jen and Nemo. I still have my mind and my creativity. I still have my life and nothing wrong with me that I know of. All that said, I still grieve the loss of Boxing Day.

Theres a method to this madness somewhere, and I just have to stick it out to figure it out I guess.

It all seems a bit sharper I guess because I also found out this week one of my favorite bands, Concrete Blonde, has called it quits again after releasing some new stuff a few years back and touring behind it. No chance to for me to hear Wendy live, unless Johnette wanders out to the east coast for some touring behind her solo project.

Thanks to everyone who believed. Thanks to all of you who didnt, you pissed us off and made us work that much harder.

Thank you all, and goodnight.


Wednesday, February 7, 2007


Ok, so I got my first batch of photos processed rudimentarily and out on photobucket. My professor isn't helping much in the way of critiques, presumably because he knows I have no photography background.

I would appreciate it if any of you out there would take a look and critique me via comments here. What you like, what you don't like, even more detail if you wish as far as contrast, cropping, etc. I like what is coming out, I just want to know where I can improve. Feel free to point here from your blogs as well so maybe I can get more. Thanks in advance.

Here's da "pitchers" (as they say down here in the south). Make sure you view the full image so it doesnt look all pixelated.

Thanks a ton!


PS - the photo of the reel is watermarked b/c I am considering a print run of it. I'm in correspondence with Penn via email to avoid any trademark issues. That's the rough version of it to further dissuade thievery.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Ok, so I actually have some extra time today b/c one of my Prof's didnt show up for class. It's all good, I can work in Photoshop as well at home as I can in a lab. So, heres my shot at a fractured update on the past few months...


- Exams went well. End result? 3.5 for the semester. Holy shit, me on the Dean's List, what is this world coming to? HINT: I have alot more focus now than at 20 or so. Wonder of wonders what a little bit of maturation can do for you. I still have no intentions of growing up.

- Grandmother fell and broke her hip. Surgery ensued, she is now well on the way to recovery. She's down at the hospital my stepdad is CFO at, so he visits her every day. Mom is getting the break she needs, even if the reason behind it sucks.

- Holidays were good. Had a fullhouse at Moms w/ Josh's GF and Charlotte's BF in the house with the other 7 of us (why do we of all people have to be the "normal" ones...I always thought we put the "fun" in dysfunctional, but these kids folks make us look like the friggin Brady Bunch). Shortly after Christmas my friend Matt came up from Florida, Mark came in from Denmark to be with my other friend Angel, and they came down to prepare for the NYE festivities. I can't wait for Matt to get out of the military so we can hang out and fish more, and I wish Angel wasnt having to move to Denmark so Mark can finish school. Programmer income will be nice though once they move back.

- NYE was the usual clusterfuck of bombastic munitions disposal, with a healthy dose of Jager and Redbull for extra craziness. I managed to get a mortar rack setup for 12 simultaneous shots. Sweet. Explosions ensued.

- Post holiday letdown sucked, but before I knew it I was back in school so it went away quickly. The letdown this year was had nothing to do with the excitement, it was all wanting to spend more time with my family...taking care of Nanny I've spent the past few years there at least 4 days a week. I cant do that now with school, and it feels kind of empty - It's nice to have Jen and Nemo. Jen and I have spent alot of time back there on weekends helping out with cleaning and making stuff for mom's new smokehouse (homemade smoked breakfast sausage...OH YEAH! Second only to homemade Pastrami on Rye. Or maybe smoked Monteray Jack).


- Nanny is still recovering well. The surgeon says she is healing beautifully. I can't make it to Bamberg to see her as much as I would like.

- Classes: Visual Arts Computing (image creation from scratch in Photoshop), Advanced Audio Art (2nd semester of ProTools), The Still Image (b&w digital photography w/ Photoshop used as the darkroom), History of Jazz and Pop (b/c my previous music courses are all going towards a minor, I have to take this BS to fill my fine arts req.), History of Europe from 1945.

- History prof (Europe) blows. Dropped the class last night. Rambling outlines, rambling lectures, unrelated reading. Went after class to ask him what I was doing wrong, was told "my job doesnt depend on whether you pass or fail, so you just need to figure it out." Game Over.

- All other classes kick ass, even if Music History is a bit dry. Sucks to sit through 4 days of sixth grade theory when you are a former music major. Photography class is AWESOME. I wish I had picked up a camera before. Photobucket will be straining once I get some of my shots processed out of .dng. Stay tuned cause I want feedback.

- New band is good, even if just for fun. Sucks to have to rebuild a fanbase though.

I think thats about it. I am actually writing and not in a pensive/melancholy/nostalgiac mood. Yet another wonder. Then again, I am watching a Woot-off in hopes of getting something good on the cheap. They always make me happy.

Oh, and I am going to Denmark in March for Angel and Mark's wedding. First time across the Atlantic. Should be lots of fun if I dont go nuts on the flight and try to eat a cigarette. Damn I need to quit.

I'll try to write more frequently.